EVERYTHING!
Love is not a word to say it is an action to live and a state of
being. So many people have said to me:
“Don’t you know I love you?” Just the
need to ask that must indicate that person was not living or showing it.
I am certain that in your lifetime you have
different people teach you about love.
Some people may have taught you that you have to earn their love. Others may have shown their love more
freely. Family is the first environment
that we learn what love is and isn’t.
At an early age I was aware of this state of ease
around some people. I was relaxed, free
to make mistakes, free to laugh out loud, free to not have to be perfect. I never had to earn my love from my grandmother
by being a perfect student or being the prettiest granddaughter. Mima was the first person to show me what
love is supposed to look like. Perhaps, that is why I spent almost every waking
moment with her.
Decades of allowing people to show me what love isn’t;
I have come to a place in life where I realize that I am the problem. At what point did I believe the lies that I
am less then? When did I become less than
deserving of kindness, respect, compassion, understanding, mercy, and grace? How
come I have settled for disrespect, abuse, mistreatment, and neglect?
Words that have been spoken over us aren’t what binds
or frees us; it is our belief in those words.
WARNING: Be prepared to walk alone for a while when you finally make a stand for and take notice of yourself and the people that surround you. It is a long process of letting go of those who drain every ounce of joy in your soul and one day finding and letting those people in who deserve your heart, your kindness, and your love.
Besides, my Mima, I have had only a handful of individuals who have displayed the true action of LOVE: my sons, Ryan, Christopher, and Scotty; my future daughter-in-law Brittany, and of course my dog Ellie :) They taught me that they will always love me
even when I fall, fail, and make mistakes.
I am loved despite my shortcomings.
I feel safe in their presence to be myself, to laugh out loud, and to be
silly. Perfection NOT required.
