INCLUDING MY SON

Why as society and human beings have we preferred and accepted separate but equal for individuals with developmental disabilities?  I have painfully been privy to the practice of self contained classrooms, separate schools for children like my son and ignorance in the community.

This has created much anxiety in me that goes beyond any fix that may come from a pill.  As a student of life I have been forced to face the reality of “being different” is not acceptable.  In fact, we must conform to what our immediate environment dictates us to become in order to “get along” in society.  As a little girl I inherently was aware that mistreating a person because of their skin color or accent was wrong.  Even though everyone around me said words that I will not repeat here when a certain person of an ethnic background walked by and the R word often said for the kids down the hall in school in that classroom that nobody wanted to walk by.

I volunteered much of my free time in that classroom.  I engaged in conversations with these students.  I often wondered why the teacher was allowed to talk to them in that tone of hers.  I would observe twitches and head swaying whenever that teacher spoke to or about the students: as if they were less then:  LESS than any of us, less than deserving respect and kind words spoken over them.

These students were often called Retards or Botards in my school within my circle of friends.  I would correct them and tell my friends their names and what they liked.  I tried to humanize the “special ed” students to my inner circle.

Many years later I am doing the same for my son, Scotty.  How can I humanize my son to a society who looks at him as “less than” or not worthy of inclusion.

INCLUSION is a hot topic in education.  WHY? 

I have given this much thought and cried many tears over this.  If we as parents, students, teachers, administrators, society, human beings don’t believe that inclusion in an educational setting from onset is not a given right for any person born with  any form of difference, we will certainly not allow inclusion of these same people into our world.

Parents of ‘normal’ children do not want the distraction of having any special education students in the classroom with their child.  Regular Ed teachers do not want them in their classrooms.  Let’s face it all this back and forth re. Pros and cons of inclusion is a bunch of Bullshit used to disguise the truth behind the mask of special education segregation.  Why is my son’s education any less important than your child’s?

Special education should not be exclusive or a separate entity from any school system.  All of our children need an education to help them become successful in life.  We all require some form of special education to meet our needs as individuals.  Teachers and administration hide behind labels and claim not enough money in the budget or not enough support systems in place to consider full inclusion for every or any student who learns, looks, acts differently than the expected norm.(note: I am currently studying for my doctorate in education-so I am not just casting stones)

It is easier to hide in your own ignorance and fear then to reach out and make a difference and change how we look at people like my son.  I am not asking for just tolerance.  We are requesting, NO demanding full acceptance in every area of his life. 

Whatever happened to the golden rule of treating others as you wish to be treated?  When my son says HELLO to you, have the respect for him to say hello back.  Being rude and unkind to people like my son is acceptable behavior in our society even within our own families.  This must stop!

It is easier for us to hide or ignore differences.  I am ashamed of so many people when we are out in our community.  However, I am never ashamed of Scotty because he is always himself, pure, innocent, true to who God created him to be.  We ‘typical’ people would benefit from Scotty and others like him.  Living a non authentic existence is exhausting.  Scotty is Scotty with NO apologies.

The moment we don’t question if my son deserves to be in a ‘regular’ classroom will be the moment we start to move forward with full inclusion into the world.

I plan to make a difference to help him be included in this world.

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NOTE: I included this picture for this piece because Scotty is fully included within the loving family of the Echelon and 30 Seconds To Mars...these men of Mars and "fans" show true acceptance and love for my son..now to get the rest of the world to follow suit!