Welcome to 2012! It has been an interesting start in our household. I have decided to stand up for myself. Looking back on my 44 years, I have noticed a pattern of allowing people, including family and people I love, to hurt, disrespect, mistreat, and ignore me. I often avoid conflict. Which I have noticed is a mistake in itself. I can no longer allow people to say whatever they want to- to us or about us (my family that is).
Don't get me wrong, I believe that love can conquer all. I still believe in God's words spoken over us of His promises. I believe in Jesus Christ. However, I do not believe God, our heavenly father and creator intended for us to allow ourselves to be stepped on, abused, mistreated, etc. We are allowed righteous anger. We are allowed to stand up for ourselves. From now on, the first sign of abuse (emotional, physical, or spiritual) I will confront the source. I will NO longer stand by and allow this mistreatment to continue.
I am so thankful for God and His wisdom and His patience with me. I know 44 years is a very long time for a somewhat intelligent woman to finally get it. Just because I call myself a Christian..doesn't mean I should allow people to treat me or mine like crap!
I have this nasty habit of allowing people to talk to me and my children any which way they choose. I tend to bite my tongue and avoid conflict any chance I can. I put my smile on my face and take the hit. But than the hit becomes a beating. How long can one person take this abuse? I ask you to consider this: Why when we see an injustice to others, as Believers, we will stand up and speak up...but when we are witness to injustice and abuse to ourselves, we say NOTHING!
I am one of God's creations, am I not? Don't I deserve to be loved as I have loved?
It takes a lot for me to reach out and ask for help. So when I do, it is a HUGE thing. However, each time I have asked for help from a source that you would think would come to your side, answers NO..time and time again, wouldn't it make sense for me to learn to carry on without their help? I have learned to do the best I can with what I have without expecting anything from my parents or sisters. I love them with all of my heart. However, having a child with special needs really puts people in two categories: (1) those who "get it" and (2) those who DON"T!
I can continue and break it down even further to groups of people who do not get it, but admit that they don't and love you and your child anyways..and want to learn how to "get it"..they ask questions, they offer to lend a helping hand..they offer to listen when you need to vent...and then there are those who don't get it..and refuse to get it..and choose to stay in their selfish worlds and choose to stay ignorant and remain in their fear...and pass judgement...and tell you how to love, care for, or raise your child with special needs.
I have NO use for the group of people who choose to stay ignorant and to stay selfish. I do not ask for much. Just for some compassion and empathy. I DO NOT want any one's pity, it does me and my children NO good! I will take your prayers and kind and sincere words. I have no time for fakeness or hypocrisy.
My son, Scotty was misdiagnosed with Cerebral Palsy for the first 7 years of his life. He also has Lennox Gestaut Syndrome (a form of epilepsy that is very difficult to control). I felt so alone for many years of caring for him. Until 2009, he was correctly diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome. It was difficult at first for me to reach out to the AS community. I tend to do things on my own, or put up the front that I have everything under control. I am here to confess, I am a MESS most of the time. Much pain and worry and sorrow are behind this smile of mine.
I have learned to love the life I have (for the most part)..but I have also learned that I do not have to tolerate anyone who does not genuinely and sincerely love me/us. I will continue to surround myself with those who actually give a crap about me and mine. I love with all of me...I no longer will accept anything less from anyone else in my life.
This extended AS family has shown me that I am NOT alone. Families do not always come from a blood line. Families are brought together with a commonality. Our AS family does not always agree on everything, however, we do agree on how much we love our Angels...and how much we need one another to get through the endless sleepless nights, the fears of waking up to find your Angel not breathing...I have found some lifelong brothers and sisters through AS. I am not a big fan of AS and what it does to my Scotty, but I am a fan of who AS has brought into my life. As I type this I cry for so many reasons. I cry for all the Angels lost too soon. I cry for my parents and sisters who choose not to get to know me and my Angel on a more personal level. I will have to be content with the superficiality of our relationships and just keep smiling through the hurt, disappointment and pain.
I know now who I can trust and rely on. That is my AS family. I turn to many of you for encouragement and support. You may not know it, but I look for your posts and stories to lift me up when I am not my strongest. I watch your videos to help put that smile back on my face.
I know who loves us. I know who cares enough to reach out. I love Scotty's caregivers, Brittany, Angelica, and Hayley who help my load become little lighter.
I can no longer not speak up or against anyone who is against us. God is for us, and I will continue to listen to His guidance. I will follow Him and not any person/man.
I have learned so much since I have allowed Jesus in my heart. I have learned that just because someone calls themselves a Christian...does not mean they are...just because someone is a pastor, priest, or leader in a church, makes them "right" with God.
When you hear a pastor or priest say at the pulpit: "God has given me the right to judge" or "My church, my altar, my decision" or "that's cute and all, but your son is nothing but a distraction" or "as I stand up here and speak to you, it is as if Christ himself is speaking to you" RUN...Run as fast as you can!! Do not allow yourself to follow any man...follow only God...He will NEVER let you down or disappoint you.
I have learned to speak up when you learn of gossip about yourself, your children, and other church members from the pastor. Do not just sit back and take it....speak up and move on!!!
I want to thank you for reading my 2012 declaration! This declaration is part confession and part resolution.
Peace and Blessings be on us all as we embark on a new year!
Don't get me wrong, I believe that love can conquer all. I still believe in God's words spoken over us of His promises. I believe in Jesus Christ. However, I do not believe God, our heavenly father and creator intended for us to allow ourselves to be stepped on, abused, mistreated, etc. We are allowed righteous anger. We are allowed to stand up for ourselves. From now on, the first sign of abuse (emotional, physical, or spiritual) I will confront the source. I will NO longer stand by and allow this mistreatment to continue.
I am so thankful for God and His wisdom and His patience with me. I know 44 years is a very long time for a somewhat intelligent woman to finally get it. Just because I call myself a Christian..doesn't mean I should allow people to treat me or mine like crap!
I have this nasty habit of allowing people to talk to me and my children any which way they choose. I tend to bite my tongue and avoid conflict any chance I can. I put my smile on my face and take the hit. But than the hit becomes a beating. How long can one person take this abuse? I ask you to consider this: Why when we see an injustice to others, as Believers, we will stand up and speak up...but when we are witness to injustice and abuse to ourselves, we say NOTHING!
I am one of God's creations, am I not? Don't I deserve to be loved as I have loved?
It takes a lot for me to reach out and ask for help. So when I do, it is a HUGE thing. However, each time I have asked for help from a source that you would think would come to your side, answers NO..time and time again, wouldn't it make sense for me to learn to carry on without their help? I have learned to do the best I can with what I have without expecting anything from my parents or sisters. I love them with all of my heart. However, having a child with special needs really puts people in two categories: (1) those who "get it" and (2) those who DON"T!
I can continue and break it down even further to groups of people who do not get it, but admit that they don't and love you and your child anyways..and want to learn how to "get it"..they ask questions, they offer to lend a helping hand..they offer to listen when you need to vent...and then there are those who don't get it..and refuse to get it..and choose to stay in their selfish worlds and choose to stay ignorant and remain in their fear...and pass judgement...and tell you how to love, care for, or raise your child with special needs.
I have NO use for the group of people who choose to stay ignorant and to stay selfish. I do not ask for much. Just for some compassion and empathy. I DO NOT want any one's pity, it does me and my children NO good! I will take your prayers and kind and sincere words. I have no time for fakeness or hypocrisy.
My son, Scotty was misdiagnosed with Cerebral Palsy for the first 7 years of his life. He also has Lennox Gestaut Syndrome (a form of epilepsy that is very difficult to control). I felt so alone for many years of caring for him. Until 2009, he was correctly diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome. It was difficult at first for me to reach out to the AS community. I tend to do things on my own, or put up the front that I have everything under control. I am here to confess, I am a MESS most of the time. Much pain and worry and sorrow are behind this smile of mine.
I have learned to love the life I have (for the most part)..but I have also learned that I do not have to tolerate anyone who does not genuinely and sincerely love me/us. I will continue to surround myself with those who actually give a crap about me and mine. I love with all of me...I no longer will accept anything less from anyone else in my life.
This extended AS family has shown me that I am NOT alone. Families do not always come from a blood line. Families are brought together with a commonality. Our AS family does not always agree on everything, however, we do agree on how much we love our Angels...and how much we need one another to get through the endless sleepless nights, the fears of waking up to find your Angel not breathing...I have found some lifelong brothers and sisters through AS. I am not a big fan of AS and what it does to my Scotty, but I am a fan of who AS has brought into my life. As I type this I cry for so many reasons. I cry for all the Angels lost too soon. I cry for my parents and sisters who choose not to get to know me and my Angel on a more personal level. I will have to be content with the superficiality of our relationships and just keep smiling through the hurt, disappointment and pain.
I know now who I can trust and rely on. That is my AS family. I turn to many of you for encouragement and support. You may not know it, but I look for your posts and stories to lift me up when I am not my strongest. I watch your videos to help put that smile back on my face.
I know who loves us. I know who cares enough to reach out. I love Scotty's caregivers, Brittany, Angelica, and Hayley who help my load become little lighter.
I can no longer not speak up or against anyone who is against us. God is for us, and I will continue to listen to His guidance. I will follow Him and not any person/man.
I have learned so much since I have allowed Jesus in my heart. I have learned that just because someone calls themselves a Christian...does not mean they are...just because someone is a pastor, priest, or leader in a church, makes them "right" with God.
When you hear a pastor or priest say at the pulpit: "God has given me the right to judge" or "My church, my altar, my decision" or "that's cute and all, but your son is nothing but a distraction" or "as I stand up here and speak to you, it is as if Christ himself is speaking to you" RUN...Run as fast as you can!! Do not allow yourself to follow any man...follow only God...He will NEVER let you down or disappoint you.
I have learned to speak up when you learn of gossip about yourself, your children, and other church members from the pastor. Do not just sit back and take it....speak up and move on!!!
I want to thank you for reading my 2012 declaration! This declaration is part confession and part resolution.
Peace and Blessings be on us all as we embark on a new year!
I agree. I believe there are ways to speak up with a Christian attitude when people say or do things that I feel are not right. I make sure I am respectful when I say it, but, there are times i feel we need to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Rita! So many of your words could have come straight from my heart. Hugs and love to you and your family. I applaud your declaration!
ReplyDelete