How am I supposed to face each and every day knowing that I am alone with the complete care of my angel, Scotty? Everyone is moving on with their lives...following their dreams away from us I have nobody who understands what the daily grind is for Scotty and me. (except other Angel parents) We have each other and that is it.
Those who I thought to love us are too busy hiding behind their haughty masks of judgement. I decided if we are to be ‘loved’ by anyone who forces us to be something we are not, they are not deserving of us in their lives. Refusal for my children and I to do fall prey to the 'acceptance game' has saved my sanity. My motto is to stand firm in who I am, never back down, and never lose faith. I have raised my sons to live this as well I have learned the hard way to not believe their smiles through their words. For the moment we are absent they are speaking of our inadequacies and failures.
I am alone every night as my angel sleeps. Holding him as he seizes and tears fall down my face as thoughts of realization that someday he will be bigger than me and how in the hell am I to care for him on my own then?
I have no support physical, emotional, or spiritual. Sobering as I face reality that no one in my life is capable of loving us as we so desire and deserve.
God for some strange reason believed that I was capable of caring for this angel on earth.
Some days I am so grateful for this honor and others I curse His choice in me.
There has been a line drawn in the sand and the only people standing on this side of the line is Scotty and me.
Somehow we will find the strength to do this alone.
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